Sunday, January 18, 2015

MORE milestones...

Years ago I lived in my comfort zone.  An area I created that was surrounded by "I can't" along with a pile of excuses.  I realized that if I never stepped out of that comfort zone, I'd be less likely to fail.  My former life was leading in a direction where I would eventually find myself swallowed by the excuses I had made for the way things were.  And I guess that would've been okay...but that small area I was trapped in would have been my life. 
No challenges and too many moments of weakness and "I want but can't because..."

Over time I have worked hard to break down the walls I built around myself.  It all started by setting a goal and taking that first step.  I decided that I wanted more out of life and felt like I could be more and do more.  The girl I used to be would have NEVER set out to run 3 miles, much less a half marathon.  I hated to run.  It represented so many reasons why I built those walls of "I can't" around me.  The run always defeated me, even when I was a child.  I was a bigger girl so not fast like many of my friends and as I grew older, I associated running with failure and defeat because I knew I wasn't "good at it". 
I have realized on this journey, if you RUN you are a RUNNER! 
That's the beauty about running...
It's our body, our mind and all in our control.  Our mind can start to trick the body into thinking it's ready to give up but then out of nowhere we find the strength to keep going....
Funny how a RUN can represent so much more, isn't it? 
I have learned that running for me is not really about the run at all.  It means I stopped allowing the easy life to be enough.  I decided I wanted to FEEL LIFE.  I wanted to feel alive and wanted to experience the things that "I wasn't suppose to achieve". 

13.1 for me... 
The first years (miles) were easy because I was young and didn't know any better, there are moments (miles) that are scary- the times when I feel weak and afraid of failing but then there are moments (miles) where I feel ALIVE- I feel free, strong and healthy!  If we choose to keep moving forward, no matter the moments (miles) that approach us, then we have overcome that obstacle and are stronger and further along on the journey of life! (the finish line)  
THIS race was not about me.  I didn't want it to be.  Of course I wanted the medal...who wouldn't?  But I knew what I was capable of for time so this one I told the Momma's that I would not leave any of them behind...if they were crawling to the finish line, I'd be right there crawling beside them and I meant it!  For some it was their first half marathon, some trying to just conquer another race but for me, this one meant SO much more. 

Somewhere along the route today I realized that this group is all that I ever wanted and more...as I looked around and saw them high-fiving, hugging and guiding each other through it.  We had our phones and it seemed every few minutes we were pepping one another up via text or group message.  It was amazing!!  I was no longer that HEAD MOMMA they depended on, they were depending on one another to get through it...it was beautiful. 
My hope was to share my story and passion and with that hopefully change and inspire ONE life and by the way things went today, it looks like I've done that but more importantly they are doing it to one another.  Even those that weren't there were sending messages of encouragement our way that were so heart felt and powerful.  Inspiration comes when that passion in your heart is so strong and you choose to share it with people that you sincerely want to help. 

That passion guided me to create this group and today we lifted each other up when we wanted to quit!  We hugged, laughed, took pictures and at the end there was hand holding, tears and tremendous joy!!!! 

Oh to finish a race on your own is amazing but to finish it beside the women that inspire you to do what you do each day?  THERE'S NOTHING THAT COMPARES TO THAT!!  It was amazing.  Life changing and a day I will never forget! 


Her words inspired me today...
"You know before I had and beat cancer, I would have never dreamed of running a half marathon...never.  But here we are!" Darn right!  She stayed determined even when her body wanted to quit, rest and give in.  She is a fighter and she didn't need this race to see that but it can now be yet another symbol of her strength, determination and ability to keep going when life tries to knock her down! 

The journey of life is forever-changing. 

We can choose to grow along with it or let it move on without catching a ride!  OUR CHOICE!  For me, the ride is SO much more fun than being a spectator! 







This race today makes SIX half marathons for my husband and I!  SIX!!!! Sharing this experience with him each and every race is something I will cherish for the rest of my life!  He's my partner and best friend in life so why not share these huge accomplishments by one another's side.  He was so supportive of the Momma's today as well!  Knowing he'd finish pretty strong, he encouraged and congratulated them as they crossed the finish line and received their medal!!!  PROUD OF HIM :) 


It wasn't until looking back at these pictures this evening that I realized how happy we look!!!  Look at us!  We hadn't even run yet and we look ecstatic!!!  Whew that is what life is all about, isn't it?!


Looking at my collection of "bling" today, I started to cry...
 
Just another symbol of strength for me.  Each mile that I run in these races, although I am not fast or going to win first place, is representative of so many defeats in my past.  I STILL sit back and think, did I really run 6 half marathons?  It doesn't seem real.  Because girls like I USED to be don't do things like that.  They don't accomplish big things and they don't know what that type of success feels like.  But if I have anything to do with it, I'm going to change the minds of women all around to help them realize that these goals are attainable and within reach for ALL OF US!   That all women CAN and WILL feel that type of success! 
 
 
And on a HUGE side note for this race I raised almost $2000 for ALS research!  My uncle passed away from this horrific disease.  I RAN in memory of him and for the Butler family, Josh is fighting this disease right now!  I ran when my legs felt like jelly because I knew they couldn't.  For all those that physically "can't" due to this disease.  I want to find a cure and fight back!  My small fundraising amount may not make a huge impact, but I was darn proud to help in the best way possible. 
 
Uncle Robert and Butler family, you were on my mind and in my heart throughout the course today. 

Monday, January 12, 2015

is it for YOU?

As you set goals this year and work hard to reach them, make sure it is for the right reasons...
 
 
When we do things for the wrong reasons, we tend to only see short-term success.
It's because working toward and reaching goals is hard work.
If we don't want it for ourselves and with our whole heart, then when things get tough we lose steam and fall short.
We have failed but it's more like we've failed others more than ourselves.
The people around us, the "audience" holds us to a standard and it's up to us to listen to those voices and let THEM decide or to listen to that louder voice inside of us!
The choice is ours to make every day
 
Which will you decide?
 
The long-term success can be found when YOU want it for YOU.
Don't let that voice coming from those that doubt and want you to fail decide your fate
 
Listen to that voice inside you that wants YOU to succeed!
It's powerful when we stop living for everyone else and start living for YOU!

Friday, January 9, 2015

Hope and honesty.

This is the hardest post I've ever written...
This deep honesty comes with exposure of my most insecure areas of my body BUT it must be shared to help you understand that things aren't perfect...
 
While I feel STRONG and HEALTHY, I am not perfect. 
We have an image of perfection that is thrown our way every day in magazines, online, on television and on social media, "You can look like THIS in 4 weeks!", "You can lose the weight once and for all" and suddenly the former fat person is replaced by a gorgeous woman with a beautiful figure and six-pack midsection. 
 
If we start out seeking perfection we will slowly lose steam and give up.  Also if we work really hard, it's the vision that we will be this rock hard bikini body in no time...
 
That is NOT me.
My weight has fluctuated since I was a young girl.  I wasn't obese as a child but I was definitely heavier than most, if not all of my friends and peers.  I'd grow a bit and find myself a little slimmer then I'd gain, lose, gain and lose.  In college was the time in my life where things really spiraled out of control for me. 
 
I think the highest I weighed was 253 AND measured for a size 22 dress. 
As I lost that weight, I was working out a lot and eating somewhat healthy so I'd say I didn't suffer from extreme loose skin but I do have plenty of stretch marks all over and it wasn't from the pregnancies.  I have had them for as long as I can remember on my arms, legs, thighs and especially in my midsection. 
At my lowest before children, I was 180 but stayed around 200lbs for a long time.  Of course I lost more than that in the beginning but slowly gained some back just getting comfortable and not pushing quite as hard.  Life happens. 
 
Eeek, throwing those numbers around makes me feel totally and completely sick.
I HATE talking numbers when dealing with my weight because the truth is, I'll never be 120lbs like I so desperately craved as a teenager and heck, even now!  BUT this is me. 
I am 5'10", I wear a size 11 shoe and am a bigger woman. 
When I'd gain weight it was ALWAYS in my stomach, back and chest.  Never in my booty or legs, as so many woman do.  BUT just because I don't gain where "most" women do, doesn't mean I had it easier when it comes to insecurity.  I would say mine was pretty awful.  Wearing sleeveless-YUCK!  Huge insecurity for me and the stretch marks only make it worse. 
Exposing my upper back, YUCK.  Hated it.  I always would joke saying I looked like a football player because I'd get really chubby up top and smaller on the bottom.  Sure my legs were jiggly and not firm but they weren't heavy, that was all left for my tummy.  DOUBLE YUCK.  Bathing suit shopping was a nightmare because I was huge in the bust, large in the back and then had roll after roll filling in my midsection. 
My tummy has always been SOOO bad to me.  Filled with rolls, never flat and I wouldn't dare wear a two-piece bathing suit EVER. 

But this post is not about my imperfections it's about erasing the images we've had thrown our way for years.  The perfect legs, butt, arms and tummy.  We live in a world that STRIVES for perfection and it can't be achieved naturally then a doctor can create it?
Or why do the hard work if it's only going to get us a little results, why not just take a short cut and have it done in a flash through surgery?

This is MY personal opinion and you can agree or disagree but I think if we have things handed to us, then do we appreciate them?  Does it make us stronger?  Probably not. 
My imperfect stomach, loose skin and stretch marks are a part of me. 

They are a reminder of my journey, where I started, where I've been and where I can go.
"I have to lose sight of PERFECT because a girl in a magazine didn't take my path. 
She had her own as I have mine and you have yours."
I have just as much respect for women of ALL sizes that focus on getting fit and healthy no matter their journey BUT I cannot compare apples to oranges.  They may have never been overweight, maybe they haven't had children and chances are they share just as many insecurities as all of us.  I have learned from the women that I work with,
 it doesn't matter our size, we ALL STRUGGLE. 
At 250lbs I showed as little skin as possible and I know women that in my eyes are so beautiful and "perfect "and they carry as many insecurities at 120lbs. 
HOW?!
They have shared things with me that they wouldn't dare tell a soul but they hate being told how thin and beautiful they are because behind closed doors they cringe at the sight of themselves in a mirror or in shorts.  They are embarrassed to shed their clothes just as I am.
But if we ALL learn to focus on the STRENGTH and HEALTH of our bodies then I think we will be much happier women. 

We need to steer away from the "IMAGE OF PERFECTION"
"PEFECTION" is different for all of us and "PEFECTION" shouldn't be our goal because it is unattainable and while we see "PERFECT" on social media or in a magazine, they may be totally IMPERFECT on the inside or feel EMPTY AND LOST.  Is that better? 
A gorgeous figure but no true beauty on the inside?  NO. 
That person may view you as "PEFECT" because of the beauty you hold in your life...the love, laughter and happiness.  Right? 

So without further ado...
ME, EXPOSED.
 



 
I see my stomach as a MESS but a strong mess...if that makes sense?!
I see areas where it has firmed up and looks better than it once did BUT it will still be an area for MY EYES ONLY...except for this post!  Ha, it'll probably come down in a week for fear that it may travel too far on the web...LOL! I HATE IT!
But if it helps YOU see to stop comparing to others then I've done what I've set out to do...to change lives.  To change the IDEA of perfection and weight loss. 
 
 
As we approach next weekend, it will be my THIRD time to run the half marathon in Houston.  This was my first time in 2012, which as you remember was a disaster for me because my head wasn't right.  I felt defeated, afraid and fearful.  Last year was SO different.  It was uplifting, inspiring and beautiful as I crossed that finish line...tears in my eyes and happiness in my heart!  The mind is so powerful and can set you to fail or succeed...it's that simple! 
Next weekend I will not be alone, I will be with 7 strong women that have overcome SO many things in life...weight loss, teasing, imperfections, even cancer.  BUT we will all cross that finish line with pride in our hearts and tears in our eyes because we set a goal and we DID IT!  That's ALL that matters is that we stop giving up on US!  That we stop comparing our journey to the people around us.  Why would we want to be like everyone else?  We should strive to be different and make our own path in life..
 
If I would have stopped trying in this picture above in 2012, where would I be? 
WHO KNOWS! I'm so grateful that I kept exceeding and reaching for new things in my life...
 
THESE women are choosing their path and their journey.  They are unsure of where it will lead but they keep trying.  They don't let defeat stand in their way and I refuse to let them give up.  Even for the ladies that haven't seen me in a while, I hope they know I'm waiting for the day they choose to come back and fight!  I haven't given up on them and I hope they haven't given up on themselves...that they are just waiting to pick back up and keep going!

 
Their STRENGTH IS BEAUTIFUL, isn't it?  It amazes me!  How can you not look at them and be inspired?  All ages, sizes and stories but ALL working hard!!! 
That's a beautiful thing and to me, THAT IS AS CLOSE TO PERFECTION AS IT GETS!!!! 
 
Do you have insecurities that make you vulnerable and emotional?  Whew I'd love for you to share so I don't feel alone??   

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

the beauty of a journey...

Each of us have a story to tell. 
We come across people in our lives that will change our lives forever.
There are moments where we decide to take control and moments where we take the back seat..
We have moments that will make milestones in our hearts and minds...
We have times in our lives where we feel like we may never get through it...
We have times of happiness...
times of grief and sadness...
We have moments of defeat but also moments that define our strength!

With any journey, the FIRST STEP can hold so much power...
And each moment then becomes part of your story...
YOUR journey. So here's a glimpse into mine...
 
While many moments in my life have NOTHING to do with my health, my weight or my fitness level, in some way it all has become a part of who I am.  I wouldn't change that for anything in the world and while my weight loss story doesn't define who I am, it has played a huge role in the person that I am today...

 
We'll fast forward a bit with my story but this picture will represent defeat...yet, happiness too.
We were in NYC, visiting friends and having the time of our lives yet look at me?  I was probably at my heaviest or on my way to it.  I remember one evening ordering 20 McDonald's chicken nuggets AFTER eating dinner, just because I wanted to.  Wow. 
 
 
The college years...some of the greatest moments of my life but also a time in my life where food became my best friend.  I was smoking, drinking and eating A LOT.  I think I did it seven days a week, rain or shine...and it was never one without the other two, the lifestyle was
EATING, DRINKING, SMOKING. PERIOD.
I lived alone which was so dangerous for an emotional eater.  I could hide out all alone and consume thousands of calories.  No feelings, just numbness and the more I ate, the less I could feel.  (Today as I help women, I can see that numbness when they speak about their journey and that makes me sad.  I'd give anything to make that go away for them.) 


Suppose to be working in order here but this one doesn't want to cooperate so we'll take two steps back and bring it to Cotillion 1997, I think? I remember dress shopping...ugh.  Then I remember seeing my friends in the dresses I WANTED to wear but physically couldn't.  Wow that's an awesome feeling for a high school girl, let me tell you.  I danced the night away but somewhere buried in the back of my mind was the girl I am today, she so desperately wanted to be found...it was like she was always there, hiding. 


Let's take a big fast forward to our family of four!  The McClellen's...my whole world!  We're a cute bunch, huh?  We have had many adventures and of course these three boys fill up my heart with joy and love!  My husband is my best friend, I can't imagine life without him and my boys...well, they complete my universe!  These three are the reason that I do what I do EVERY second of every day...


and as we approach my 35th birthday, let's bring it back to my surprise 30th birthday party!  Oh such fun!!!  We laughed, sang karaoke, danced the night away and took many pictures!  A great night but as you can see...my weight loss had taken a back seat and weight gain had re entered my life after kids. 

I remember picking strawberries with my boys this day!  It was such a fun day and I remember vividly putting on this outfit and thinking, "wow you look great!"...so I was back on a roll to weight loss!  Woohoo! 
Below I was running like a crazy fool!  Mile after mile but I was slow and steady, no superstar speed running for me but I was increasing mileage and gaining speed so I was happy with that! This was also around the time that I completed my first half marathon!  What a milestone for me.   


Jan 2013, an important year for me! As you can see my husband hopped on board and was running like crazy, eating right and had decided to take a path to healthy living right beside me! I was feeling good but I was ready to take a new path on my journey.  I knew how to lose and then gain weight again, I knew how to maintain but did I know how to take it to the next level?  Nope.  Did I know that MY journey could somehow benefit others?  Nope. 
But I'd soon find out...


Jan 2014 was the same race but I had a different attitude...you see, my journey was only beginning.  In this race I had lost 40 more pounds since the Jan prior!  I had kept a promise to myself to keep going...sky's the limit this time! Also My Move It Mommas had become a group back in Sept and we were in full swing! 
It all makes sense to me now...
My journey, while it will never be finished and always changing has taught me SO much...
 
I am here to impact my children...Show them what not to do and hopefully teach them to take care of their bodies, always. 

I am here to help OTHER children find a joy in being healthy...
I am here to share my story, my journey with women all over...
We are here together to inspire and motivate one another to seek positive change! 
To stop living life from the sidelines, to stop spectating and START LIVING!


 
 
When I think of my story and my journey like that, then those moments of weakness, defeat and sadness are quickly turned into victory!  Because I did it!  I am doing it every day.  I am using my story and my journey to help others work on theirs. 
 
If I can make a SMALL difference in their lives, if they will spread that love of health and fitness with their family and friends then what do I have left to regret?  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  Every moment was worth it, the good ones and the bad.  They all shaped me into the woman that I am today.  We can't appreciate the journey until we are able to see WHY it was planned for us...but now I see and now I can keep working on who I am becoming every day...
 
If I wouldn't have taken that FIRST STEP then where would I be? 
Where will your journey take YOU??  I can't wait to find out with you!! 
 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

shedding the "weight" within...

Honesty among women is a beautiful thing.  
Most of the time we give highlights, often fabricating the truth to make ourselves feel and look better in front of other women.

I think we have it all wrong.
I think imperfections, honestly and vulnerability are what make women so beautiful...
It is only when we hide behind those imperfections that we find ourselves bitter with the rest of the world around us.  That negativity will breed negativity and suddenly we aren't the person that we thought we were. 
We find ourselves comparing our battles with the ones of others and then that becomes a losing battle, I know first hand.  
Today I choose to not "sit on my cactus" YOU WITH ME?

We should embrace our struggles and not hide behind it.  We have a closed group page within our local workout group and we post everything...if it's funny, sad, happy, motivational, we share it all!  We had some posts go up a few days ago that were heart wrenching.  I started to cry as I read their words because I felt the pain behind it.  
It was honest and it took incredible strength and courage to share but they did.  

I think when we see someone with a visible issue with weight, we may see their beauty 
but we also might pass judgement? 
But not knowing the "weight" they carry within isn't fair.
Now keep in mind, I AM NOT making excuses for people that struggle with weight, after all I preach NO EXCUSES all of the time
 but I am shedding light on the other side, the side you often won't see.

They are carrying the weight of failure, of defeat.  They feel helpless and while it's easy for us to say workout and eat right, they are feeling the weight of a thousand pounds resting on their shoulders.  They know we're watching, "Will they finally succeed? Or will this time be like last time where they lost the weight and they gained it back plus more?"
They feel that it's only a matter of time until they fall right back into those bad habits and are back at the bottom of their mountain...
SO WHY TRY?  

It's breaking into that level of emotion when the magic will start to take place.  It's when we reach that level that the transformation will occur.  And I stay awake at night TRYING to figure out a way to reach in and find it for each woman that struggles and comes to me for guidance and help.  
The best I can do is work from experience. Focus on what didn't work in the past and why, go from there but for the life of me I can't figure out how to tap into that deep level of the "I WANT, I WILL WORK FOR IT" attitude.  BUT you better believe that I will NOT stop trying!  Ever!
For so long I felt pity for myself, I built a wall of excuses and felt comfortable because I could justify-at any given moment, a reason of WHY I was the way that I was.  
I was overweight because...
I was unhealthy because...
Failing came easy for me so why not keep it up?
I had proved my success in weight loss endeavors, I could lose 15lbs in the blink of an eye but you better believe I could gain it back twice as fast!  
The failure always came after the "diet".  It was the "Oh glad that's over, now let's eat"
You see, that short-term success was all I had known and obviously I failed at it time after time so what good was trying when I knew the end result was failure once again?
And this is what leaves me speechless...
HOW DID I OVERCOME THOSE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS?  
Every woman asks and I cannot find the one word answer...
I know in my heart that I was tired of quitting, tired of giving up and failing and I was really tired of feeling crappy NON STOP.  
I was sick and tired of feeling trapped in the world of excuses that I created for myself. 
Now how can I bottle that up and share it with the Universe?? 

Truth is, we all deserve to live life.  We should be present and able to soak up all that life has to offer.  Playing with our children and grandchildren, doing things that we thought weren't possible, setting goals and for once, reaching them and going beyond them to setting more and more...and more!

I challenge YOU to help someone remove that "weight" within. 
 The weight they hold so close, the weight that has held them back from LIFE.  Help them shed it and start a new beginning.  Inspire them to see that failure isn't the only way.  
Show them a new path, one where strength, power and success is all around! 
If we help them do that then the true weight will begin to fall off and their new life will start to form 
Yes they must WANT it but not the way that I used to...
I "wanted" change all day long.  I'd sit and THINK about how badly I wanted it, talk about it and most of the time I'd cry about it.  Feeling sorry for myself in my little pity bubble.  
When I started working for it, believing that I could change...that is when my life took a different turn.  The one that has brought me to where I am today.  Still reaching and learning but also helping and guiding women that felt lost and helpless as I did for many, many years...
HELP ME, HELP ALL OF US!!!  TOGETHER!



**If you "Like" The Move It Momma facebook page you'll see what I'm eating daily and hopefully find some foods that you might try!  Use the hashtag, #moveitmommas on Instagram to keep up with our local workouts, see weight loss transformations, inspiration and more!!  

I love a filling breakfast that fuels me for the day.  I drink 8oz of water before the meal and 8oz after to give a sense of fullness before my food has had a chance to digest...it works wonders  
This is 1/2 c oats topped with fresh berries and cinnamon.  
 This one is 1 c plain Greek yogurt, 1/2 TJ's high fiber O's and 1/4c fresh berries!  YUM!  
*If YOU have a go-to recipe you'd like to share please email me at rissarose80@yahoo.com.  I'd love to share on The Move It Momma facebook page, Instragram: MoveItMarissa as well as on the blog-of course, linking back to your page, info as well! We can work together to inspire a nation!  
Who's with me?  

Sunday, January 4, 2015

keep it in mind throughout 2015!

Today stop and think about the hype of the new year and new goals that you've made...
Remember how you feel right then and there. 
The excitement and positive thoughts...
The feeling that anything is possible...

You'll have good days and bad but if you:

Soon you'll stop being reminded of losing weight, gym discounts, weight loss supplement commercials won't invade your television and Internet screen non-stop...BUT it's now YOUR responsibility to keep it up.  It's on YOU to keep the motivation, discipline and encouragement.  Nobody else will do it for you and while maybe you started 2015 with several people that we're setting goals right along with you, sadly the chances are...they will jump ship a few months later when things get "tough"...

Each year that has come and gone was a chance for you to change...
did you take advantage of it or let it pass you right on by? 
Or maybe you were like I was for so long.  I had lost so much weight and seemed to be maintaining but maintaining what?  A healthy life?  NOT QUITE. 
In these pictures below I was smoking, eating somewhat healthy which included smaller portions of fast food and less macaroni and cheese but was it healthy?  Was I the picture of health on the inside?  NOT REALLY. 

I set a goal to stop smoking in Jan 2012 and I did it and haven't looked back since but getting  my eating just right was so tough.  While smoking is an addiction, it was far easier to stop that than it was to get my food totally in control 90% of the time.  An emotional day could send me back months if I wasn't careful so my balancing act has been a work in progress since 2013 and it will be for the rest of my life...and I'm okay with it because I go into each day knowing I am capable of change.  I am strong and I know that I can keep pushing and exceeding the goals that I create for myself and my body.  THIS month I will complete my 6th half marathon alongside my husband and fellow Move It Mommas and I couldn't be more excited.  To complete this milestone alongside some of the strongest people I know will be life changing and I'm prepared for that!  
Can't wait to share those experiences with all of you...
Set a goal and let nothing stop you from reaching that goal this year!  

Make 2015 your year to shine and just because all of the hype dies down by mid-Feb doesn't mean you get to quit!  It means you keep going further and you push harder!  That's what separates us from the ones that THINK they want it and the ones that are actually ready to put in all of the hard work, sweat, sore muscles and tears to get there!!!!

Monday, December 29, 2014

intimidation.



As we tighten up for 2015 by setting goals, reflecting on the year that will soon pass and focusing on positive changes that we all hopefully made...and will continue making long into the New Year
we need to stop and remind ourselves to not become INTIMIDATED.
By the gym.  People around us that may not believe that we can achieve our goals.  By the long road ahead whether it's weight we need to lose, strength we need to gain or emotional eating battles we must fight.
As we worked out today, we had some faces that I hadn't seen in a while, which makes me so happy!!  One of them said something that stood out to me.  She said, "Whew, I feel so intimidated with how out of shape I have become..."

Of course we each have fears of failure and we surely don't want people to see those insecurities...BUT if we allow those feelings to take over and STOP us from trying then we've lost the battle within ourselves.  A sign that we've give up.  That intimidation has now taken over and we are at its mercy.  

I think people look up to those that keep trying.  The door keeps slaming in your face but you keep trying to open it.  You keep climbing regardless of how many times you've fallen back.  People envy that and admire that.  We ALL want to be fearless!  It's whether or not we allow intimidation to stand in our way.  

Time and time again I reflect on how many times I was intimidated by change but wanted it SO badly. I wanted it but never wanted to do the work for it.  That's just not possible.  We can't have our cake and eat it too...literally :)  

Of course I was intimidated by change.  Intimidated by failure.  By the people in the gym that seemed to look at me like, "when will she quit?" but I decided to turn that into a positive by proving them wrong...and myself wrong because deep down I didn't 100% believe I could until I did...
By allowing them to frighten me, they won.  They figured me out before I had even figured out what I wanted...
THEY WON.  
So you want to allow the doubters to win?  You want what they say about you to be true? "Oh she'll lose weight and then gain it again."  "Oh it's just a phase, she'll be overweight and out of shape in no time." "She's done this before and it never sticks...just give it time."...See for me I allow these thoughts to filter inside my mind then turn them into fuel.  That fuel pushes and inspires me to conquer the world.  I have no doubt that I'll have good days and bad...I've had plenty but it's how I keep moving forward that will motivate the people around me.  I want my boys to see a strong, healthy mother that puts her health as a priority so as they grow up, they will value their health just as much...
It's a cycle and they WILL practice what we preach.  If we model it they will hopefully follow...
Your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers...everyone!  That's how we make change!  TOGETHER! 

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